*Praying for PawPaw Nelson*

     I am SAD.  I don't get sad that often, right now I am very sad.  My PawPaw Nelson is the only living grandparent I have left and he isn't doing well at all. He lives in a nursing home in Louisiana with his son (my Uncle) Kenny who has Downs Syndrome.  He hasn't been doing well for a while as he is 88 years old and his age has taken a toll on him.  He has managed to survive a triple heart bypass, a heart valve replacement as well as a pacemaker placement surgery throughout his life, but now his circulation is bad and his kidneys are failing.  He has been put in the hospital where they are contemplating putting him on dialysis in hopes in may "reboot" his kidneys and get them back the normal functioning mode.  Right now, thanks to the help of fluids his kidney numbers are down which is good and they are holding off on the dialysis.  My dad is super stressed out between feeling of sadness, preparing for the worst, praying for hope, and the hour long drives back and forth to stay with him in the hospital.  I haven't heard my father cry in a very long time, but he did the other day on the phone telling me about PawPaw's health.  I can't even begin to tell you what that did to my heart.  Knowing I could not help or FIX PawPaw's Health...it just broke my heart.  I don't want him to suffer....but I don't want him to die either.  I know that is incredibly selfish, but he is my PawPaw and I love him and I have so many incredibly wonderful memories of him...
     I think back to when I was little and my Papa would tell us stories about his childhood growing up across the street from Neely Barrett and how his daddy grew up poor in Alabama and was a farmer all his life.  I remember getting so excited when my Papa would say we were going to visit PawPaw Nelson and Uncle Kenny in Wetumpka, AL....it may have been an old worn out trailer in a backwoods of Alabama, but it was my favorite place to visit!!!  He always had watermelon fresh from the garden and we would go pick wild blackberries during the summer and at christmas we always had a feast!!!! All of my fathers brothers and sisters would be there as well!!!  I have fond memories of my Uncle Paul visiting as well...he was my papa's brother who died when I was 11...All the Nelson family have such big hearts...they are such good people...and it all stems from my PawPaw Nelson instilling goodness and respect and cherishing family in them!
     Hearing the sadness in my fathers voice that night and the grief he was going through in knowing he will lose his father soon and will have to bury him made me realize that one day I will be in that same situation...having to bury my father.  I don't think I will ever be ready for that day.  I love my Papa so much and I can't even imagine life without his abounding wisdom, contagious laughter, warm hugs, and hearty "Roll Tide!'s"...I am so Thankful to be his daughter and to have been blessed with years I have had and will continue to have with him....I find comfort in knowing that My father and my PawPaw are one in the same. So, even though we are preparing for the loss of my PawPaw...he will always live in my father, who loves and admires him deeply. 

I love and admire both of those two great men. Please pray for my family.  Pray that God's will be done and that our family will remain strong no matter.

MJY